I am considering DMT for exploration of consciousness and physics. I have had severe depression in the past and some anxiety but I have reduced my ego load so I am not upset about a lot of the emotional and self esteem things I used to go through. I have learned that the universe is rife with paradox and my personal judgments exists not in a discrete way but as a spectrum and can even be contradictory in certain circumstances. I took an ultimate truth approach to feeling better and the truth is all the things for which I have judged myself on are meaningless to the broader universe. The problem was I felt that my own situation was of universal importance. I felt the universe owed me but now I feel that I serve the universe. For instance I am simultaneously the least important bit of fluff in the universe and the most important person in the universe since I’m the only me I got, and everything in between. The answer(s) lie(s) in how you reference the question. It took a lot of work to make it so that I feel these truths in my bones, feel it on an intuitive level.

As for my main interests, it’s all about studying fundamental aspects of existence and the power of emergent phenomena. I am in love with exploration and discovery of the cosmos from the Planck Area up to M-Branes. I have learned about the holographic universe theory as well as cosmology and some quantum mechanics. Based on Juan Maldacena work with AdS CFT Correspondence and the agreement by most leading theoretical physicists, I am fairly certain reality is emitted from a cosmic event horizon approx 15BLY away and that event horizon carries all the information contained within the volume of space time encoded in some type of holographic format. I have a suspicion that DMT might illuminate the holographic nature of the universe. If that doesn’t happen, I am also interested in looking at the tessellation patterns of a DMT trip and how the geometry changes from 2-d to hyper-spherical geometry. It seems as though DMT tesselates not only visual information but also auditory, tactile information and also proprioception and even self-identity. Maybe even emotions are tessellated by DMT in a similar way the alien in Annihilation tessellated everything. This tessellation feature would explain the weird feelings and geometries so I don’t think I’d get a bad trip, so long as I can remember what I’ve learned about cosmology and consciousness and the action of DMT.

I would like to know if I take 40mg of DMT will I know I took a drug or will I forget and not know what is happening to me? The other thing on my mind is can I take questions in with me and still remember them when things are whirling around, beeping and buzzing? I feel like there must be some huge temporal lobe excitation going on as the self reported profundity of these trips seems extreme. I’m not looking for a spiritual journey, I get all the spirituality I need from the cosmos and to me learning how the most fundamental aspects of existence works is a spiritual experience. I have tried religions but they didn’t have an authentic spiritual feeling, more like believing in Santa Clause, but when I began studying the universe and biology, then I felt an authentic awe and something special I just can’t put my finger on. Its probably what most people feel from religion but I don’t know for sure. I mostly want an academic experience with DMT, information dense but emotionally uncharged. I have some simple math questions that I can ask entities to solve which require a calculator for me to see if these entities might be something discrete from me. I doubt they are but I want to know the answer for certain and I’d ask the entity to solve a binomial distribution problem in its head. If a DMT entity gets a binomial distribution problem correct then it’s high odds that the entities are actually separate sentient beings which exist in DMT hyperspace. Binomial distribution problems are easy to lay out but really require a calculator to solve. I highly doubt that anyone could perform a binomial a distribution calculation in their head.

One thing I have concern with is seeing family or even people during the trip which to me will be a waste of the trip. I don’t want human to human interaction. I can get that without DMT. I’d love to feel like I am traveling through space at ludicrous speeds, and see the nebula and stars I know well, but ultimately I want to see if DMT can provide me a view of the universe as a kaleidoscope of patterns which could be similar to the information encoded on the cosmic event horizon. I’d like to even take a DMT trip down a black hole event horizon to see what the interior geometry might be. But I don’t want to visit dead relatives or living or any human. I don’t want to take DMT more than once if I can help it, so seeing people themed trip would be truly disappointing to me.

I am unafraid of feeling dead because I am an old man with health conditions that will probably end my life within 5 years. I’ve gone through the stages of grief and am now at acceptance. I view death like I view a hole, it doesn’t actually exist except as a concept. Each of us are patterns of energy and patterns of particles that form us as people. Our mind is a smaller pattern within the larger pattern of our bodies and our consciousness is an even smaller pattern within the larger pattern of our brain. So long as the multiverse exists, which scientists estimate is highly probable, then when we die it’s as if our clocks have stopped. If I turned off time for the entire universe for a period of 10 trillion years and then turned time back on, nobody would know the difference. We can only detect change. We fall asleep and our consciousness fades yet we wake up and we exist once again. Even if it takes the birth and death of 10^1000 universes, given enough time and space patterns will re-occur, re-emerge. This means that the moment our consciousness signs off due to brain death, in that same instant we are born into a new existence and chances are it won’t be human because the odds to reincarnate into an entire human body are much larger odds than the odds for just our consciousness to reincarnate. At some point we will all reincarnate into the exact same body and planet and even the same life as the one we have now. It’s all about odds and very large numbers. I am convinced enough of this, 95% sure, that if I can still remember what I’ve learned about consciousness that I won’t think I’m dead because if you think, therefore you are! I am so enthralled with the magic of the universe, fractals, math, biology, cosmology and consciousness that I don’t need any notion of a spiritual entity. I don’t even feel quite like a typical person. I feel more like a sensory organ for the universe… to help it understand itself. I feel it is my life’s mission to try to solve the big fundamental questions so the universe can understand itself. Every act of learning is the universe understanding itself from a new perspective.

If there is any advice you can give me to have the type of experience I have outlined, please let me know. Years ago, when I had much more of an ego, I was upset about a lot of things but now that I have learned that I am not me but actually part of the universe, a timeless measurement instrument for the universe just as all life forms are from single cell to the most intelligent ET species, all sensory nodes for the universe. I don’t feel like people have the appropriate awe for having human intelligence, how magical it is that fundamental laws and particles can be arranged in such a way to create the finest tapestry of complexity beyond imagination, complexity that can think for itself!

I have seen those whom had bad trips on YouTube and they appear to be emotionally destroyed. Worse, they seem to be overly self judgmental about issues that in the big picture are mostly irrelevant. I am impossibly small in all of existence and don’t want to waste time navel gazing. My problems aren’t big enough for the universe or anyone other than me to worry about and since I’m not really me but a sensory organ for the universe, I just don’t want to dive down the rabbit hole of my own navel. I’ve worked hard to build my objectivity and unfailing search for truth and I don’t want it wiped by a bad DMT experience where I get caught up in my own bull excrement. I don’t want to lose my excitement for cosmology, biology, physics, art and consciousness and pout in a corner because of a bad DMT experience.

I predict I have from now until five years before I pass away from health conditions, so that means I have a relatively small window to take the DMT trip line-item off of my bucket list. I’ve completed all of my bucket list except for wing suit flying, which won’t happen now because my health, and meet and communicate with an intelligent ET. DMT might even help me scratch the “meet an alien” off of my list. But, I am highly doubtful that DMT entities are unique sentient beings who have their own agency. My guess is that it’s a proprioception hallucination but who knows?

So, please any advice to make this pipe dream into an actual DMT exploration would be appreciated. In summary at 40mg,

1. Will I remember I took DMT while tripping?
2. Will I remember a math question to ask an entity, if I see one?
3. Will all the work I’ve done on learning about consciousness, physics, astronomy, biology, math and the work I’ve done on mindfulness training disappear during the trip or will it stay with me so I have a better chance at fully understanding and incorporating my experience?
4. Do I really need a sitter? It’s kind of a personal private experience for me and in case I poop myself or do something silly I don’t want to inconvenience anyone else and create an awkward situation for the sitter. Part of my health conditions mean that I could have a case of “oops, I crapped my pants.” If you’ve made it this far in my version of War and Peace, thank you!

Thank you. :^)

Heard about this substance a long time ago and it was , physically, there for the last 2 years just about but as so many have said it finds you , I truly believe that now.

As I have spent the last 2 years working on myself , the opportunity was there but I never felt right , then it presented it to me in a perfect way, I felt right , set ,sitter was right and I decided to take the plunge , oh my ……

I have to echo caution, nothing can prepare you for this , a good friend/sitter is required , with experience, and a personal good state of mind as this will shatter your whole take on “reality” to the core.
As much as I’ve read , watched , listened to about it and previous experiences with psyches , nothing can prepare you in my experience.
Truly life changing in one way or another, whether spiritual or looking for insight into yourself and deserves the upmost respect.
Relax and let it take you, really relax, dont fight , although you may well wanna fight it as it is so overwhelming so quickly.
Breath , practice meditation, breathing techniques, as it will really help.
Feel the love, may sound “hippy dippy” but you’ll understand and why.
Be prepared to spend awhile , couple of days, possibly, integrating back into “reality ” so much is put on the , your back in half an hour or so part of it , you can be and most likely will be shaken to the core, or atleast try be prepared to be, nothing can tbh , mushrooms, lsd aren’t gonna prepare you, unless you’ve been hella reckless with high dosages or a serious astral psyhonaut IMHO.

This substance demands serious respect , I’ve read alot of folk treating it like a party drug to an extent , it most certainly is not , this article is great, does well to caution you, is really well written, highlighting caution (cant emphasis it enough) ,integration and respect (again cant emphasise it enough) but nothing will prepare you.
Be prepared to question alot when you return.
Safe travels friends.

Dmt will help with your ptsd if done right. I suffer from combat PTSD and have done shrooms LSD and dmt and they have helped me immensely. You just have to be careful.